Honoring Your Unique Path Through Grief

Be yourself: everyone else is already taken. *

We are all unique, and this is true for every aspect of our lives including grief.  

When we have a major loss- a loved one dies, a divorce or major break up happens, we lose a job or confront an empty nest- there will always be both universal aspects and our own unique version of that loss.

As we navigate through our pain, it is natural to look around and see what others are doing to heal.   This can be beneficial, especially if it is done in a support group.  We can notice, for instance that most of the people that are further along in their healing process are not feeling the same level of devastation that we are currently. We can notice that as time passes, most people start focusing on hope at least part of the time, rather than grief.

We could see someone going down a well worn path, such as addiction. We might decide that we do not want to follow.  This is very common: https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/research-studies/addiction-research/grief-and-addiction.   We may see ourselves heading in that direction and pull ourselves back into health, or meet someone who was able to heal from this and follow in their steps.  These things can all be helpful. 

However, each loss is unique, and each of us is unique as well. Every one of us will have our own healing process that is unlike anyone else’s.  This means it is really important not to make ourselves feel bad about our own path- that we are taking too long, or not doing it right.

My dear friend and mystical counselor, Cristina Maldonado https://www.linkedin.com/in/cristina-maldonado-cortes/, recently shared some fascinating facts with me:  along with our fingerprints, our eye color, retinas, the way we walk, our tongues and many other aspects of our bodies are completely unique.  Your DNA is unique, even if you have an identical twin.  What each of us brings to the world is special and important, and this is evident in the way we live and the way we grieve.  https://edition.cnn.com/2015/12/04/health/unique-body-parts/index.html

I have worked with people experiencing grief and life transitions for many years. No one has exactly the same loss, and no one’s journey of healing is the same.  Some people need to spend time alone, some really need to be around others.  One person may lose their faith, another find it.  Some need to eat more to help digest their feelings, some simply can’t eat.  Lots of individuals need to sleep more than they ever have, but there are some who can’t sleep at all.  Some people form new relationships, others lean into the ones they have.  Just like every aspect of life, grief and healing have infinite possibilities, any of which can be a part of your path.  

What IS universal is that grief is long, difficult, multilayered and unpredictable.  The best things we can do for ourselves are to honor our own needs, stop judging ourselves and seek help when we need it.  Feeling like what we are doing is wrong, or comparing ourselves to others and thinking that someone else is doing it better is a waste of time.  If someone inspires you, by all means, let them know and follow their lead.  If you feel like you are not grieving in the right way, please pause and give yourself  some grace. You are on your own unique journey.  

If you need some more support, it is out there.  Trust your process.

If you would like to explore energy medicine as a support for your journey I am here for you. You can book a session here: www.glowenergyhealing.com/booking

• This quote is often attributed to Oscar Wilde, but it actually never appeared in any of his works.  It’s origin is actually unknown.  https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/01/20/be-yourself/